http://memento.pyralis.net knowing loss and grief in early adulthood Fri, 12 Mar 2010 14:18:32 +0000 http://backend.userland.com/rss092 en It's that thing that makes me feel like a crazy person - that thing where you have knee-jerk reactions, responses, thoughts as if a person who is no longer living is living again . . . if you know what I mean . . . For example, something will happen during ... http://memento.pyralis.net/?p=86 My mother's things have become unknown to me.  They have become the stuff of archeology.  By this I mean that each individual object's history is lost in her absence.  These things that once had the potential to prompt intimate and unknown stories from the recesses of my mother's memory are ... http://memento.pyralis.net/?p=74 another black day on the calendar approaches.  this one has me more upset than i expected.  my birthday is tomorrow.  without my mom it seems unnecessary somehow.  i wish it wouldn't come, it wouldn't happen.  it's a terrible reminder of the loss now, not a fun celebration of my life.  ... http://memento.pyralis.net/?p=71 There are times when I think about my mom and I can't feel anything.  Usually in those moments I think that I'm just doing really well and have just gotten too used to the ever-present feelings of grief to feel anything anymore.  and yay, i don't feel miserable! Alas, this is ... http://memento.pyralis.net/?p=67 I've recently made weekend travel plans to marseille from paris.  Me and my two friends are travelling on the fly, uncertain where exactly we'll stay, whether we'll camp in provence, etc.  It sounds fantastic - young, carefree, adventuresome - a liberty that i haven't felt since i was twenty, and ... http://memento.pyralis.net/?p=65 I dreamed last night that I found my mom, after hours of looking.  She was in a sacred place, spiritual and in some way Buddhist - but right near my parents' house.  She was feeble and still a little sick.  I told her how relieved I was to have found ... http://memento.pyralis.net/?p=61 A few weeks ago I came across a friend's photo album on (that ubiquitous time-waster) Facebook.  In his album entitled "family" he'd included an image of his father's headstone.  I happened to view this image around the time of the 12th anniversary of his father's death and so "eavesdropped," if ... http://memento.pyralis.net/?p=59 This is a nice little article detailing some of the stresses of being a young adult caregiver: http://www.cancer.net/patient/Library/Cancer.Net+Features/Guidance+and+Support/Young+Adults+Taking+Care+of+a+Parent+With+Cancer   Here are some interesting studies that begin to address a few of the issues around caregiving between the ages of 18 and 25: http://www.ajph.org/cgi/reprint/AJPH.2005.067702v1.pdf http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/12/081215074654.htm   And a forum thread related to the topic, perhaps a good site ... http://memento.pyralis.net/?p=51 Older women in the office, standing in front of my desk, discussing their mothers' conditions and all the work it takes to care for them.  I was in this sad club, too, though 30 years their junior.  I could have screamed, hopped up and down, pounded my fists on the ... http://memento.pyralis.net/?p=45 Here is a list of things that have helped me through the past year: 1.  Puffs Plus tissues (seriously prevent nasal chaffing) 2. Gardening - tending to, caring for something, getting outside, being distracted but also having a space to think if you want it 3. Pets - also get you outside, distract ... http://memento.pyralis.net/?p=42